I’ve gone through and re-worked The Frog Prince and Hurricane Princess to better reflect the timing of the eye and other stuff. My description of the OTHER eyewall is much paler than NV’s great tornado cell-eyewall on the other side, but that can be fixed.
I was talking with Wolf (SO) about the Naga books, and I realized that I don’t know how to pronounce some of this stuff. Naga is easy, but Teot? Caladrunan? Girdeth, for that matter? How do you pronounce this stuff, NV?
Notes for Lucas
*where did his centipede go?
*Hubby’s suggestion,his talent would be incredibly useful onboard spaceship, where he’d track the harmonics of the metals and know where things are fatiguing etc.
*He might be able to correct the viola’s harmonics while dance is playing it, holding onto one string or more…
during the whole viola sequence, does Dance feel like he has control over his tail? We aren’t quite in his head a lot of the time. Do we want to go more omniscent, or do part from Barret’s POV?
Thoughts for Drin’s PTSD
Remembering the general in more detail, (kinda Patton-ish, huh?)
remembering giving the order to shut down cryo facility, and commanding the workers that take out the dead Kiplings
remembering a battle with Kiplings leashed and then let loose
find and replace; “fully developed bagheera” not “full blooded”
Emma sneers at “Potty mouth” goes shakesperean
The idea that Hal freaks out utterly in the small, dark root cellar and can’t spend more than a couple of tense minutes down there is an interesting character detail, but it has been bothering me in a subtle, almost subliminal way. The reason why came to me this morning.
Hal has just spent maybe a half an hour effortlessly in an even smaller, darker closet, fooling around. No signs of any distress at all.
Now, I could just edit the closet scene. Or perhaps there’s a reason that he doesn’t freak out in the closet. Not because someone’s with him, because Dia’s in the cellar, too. Not because of the sex, because if I understand phobias, that would not override the panic.
Could it be the cellar smell is the third vital element? After all, any closet that Dia takes charge of smells like laundry softener.
Yeah, we’re going to have to do a LOT of work to bring the imported story bits up to snuff again. Looks like all the formatting was lost in the transfer. Paragraph breaks/indents (depending on which were used), italics, bolds, what-have-you, all gone. That’s going to be a major pain in the ASS to fix. Son of a bitch.
Shit. Don’t do it yet, guys, there must be something that’s stripping the html tags between the database and the browser– some setting I’ve got wrong.
Lemme see what I can come up with. there’s a good bit of a earning curve, but we shall master it!
At first, i was reading with an editor’s eye, especially the bits i already knew. fixing spelling and tenses, deleting adverbs, you know. But about halfway through Steve’s section, i just… couldn’t put it down. I read past my lunch break.
The question of Lucas getting kicked out; It does make sense now, that the grownups would want him gone, Pen especially would insist. But if we can keep him there… child in peril, yanno, it gives good story.
dance’s tail changing colors– we’ve seen tiny bits of that in previous sections, I’m wondering if it actually could do such silly things without dance’s specifically concious input. Those colors are rather sophisticated culturally, would it have such a thing yet? It acts pretty instinctive right now.
But, of course, this leads to a question. Where are we going from here? Are Dia and Lucas incidental characters, left behind when The Trio leave Pen’s? Where are Kiya’s former characters X and Y in all this? Is Hal staying behind? Will we ever get to meet Simon and learn more about Goethe?
Where the hell are The Trio going after they leave Pen’s?
Just some thinkin’ I’m doing before I go to work and have my brains sucked out my nose by the corporate machine…
Well, I finally figured that the thing I’ve been noodling at on googledocs was good, and stuck it up under the title Hurricane Princess in the When Worlds Collide section. It always feels good to finish something, and it always feels like it needs more work. *grin*
I also stuck An Unexpected Visitor in Dia’s backstory.